He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
