Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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