some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
