"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
