today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
