needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
