do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
