Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Randomize
