You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
