I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
it's like heaven, but drunker
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
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