Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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