I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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