with your own penis?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
