I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
