Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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