now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
