How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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