Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
