We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
