she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
