Rock
Scissors
Fuck
this beer tastes like vomit already
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
