omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
