i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
