You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
whose ass print is on the piano?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
