im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
