Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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