So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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