we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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