Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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