So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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