You're completely useless in the revolution.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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