I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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