Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
where am i from again
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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