I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize