So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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