You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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