i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
