I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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