i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
NoShamevember. You game?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
