Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
