I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
