I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
