You're my little dorito
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just googled if crying burns calories
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
