why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Found your dick twin last night
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
