Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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