i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Randomize
