woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
