Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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