i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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