she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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